On Thursday the nurses still insisted that he'd be coming home on Friday or Saturday morning. I asked tentatively, "Ummm, how will I know when they plan on sending him? I mean, I don't mean to be a pain but my husband is working and I have a 2-yr old so I sorta need to plan my life. I'm going to plan for a Saturday pick up"
My brain is moving faster than ever, not always productively. I start one simple task and in the middle, remember something else I started, and then none of it really gets done. There's a necessary trip to The Fairway, laundry, and other normal domestic irritants that need to be completed.
I am nervous. There will be two children to look after starting in about 24 hours. Shane will help me fetch him from the hospital but will then be heading to Times Square for two shows and I will be here, testing my skills as a mother of two children. There's nothing like a little trial by fire.
Mahalia has a little cough and I feel a little nagging ball of anxiety forming in my chest--what if Dezi get's a cold? I'm starting to think of where I will strategically place bottles of Purelle throughout the house.
I've placed the NG tube twice. It was not so much fun. I gagged the crap out of Dezi but he recovered quickly. Me, not so much. Why is is that nerves always seem to know which part of your body to shake in order to make the nerve inducing task the most difficult? My hands were shaking like crazy and the nurse rubbed my back, "you're okay." Shane too, standing next to me, offered reassurance.
I feel confused about feeding. He's on such a strict schedule at the hospital and it's not clear if I'm to uphold that or if I can relax a little bit about the feeding time, letting Dezi find his own rhythm.
There will be a visiting nurse coming to our house in Brooklyn the day after he comes home, just to make sure we're okay.
I talk to friends on the phone and am incapable of carrying on a linear conversation.
My brain is a pinball. Even now, I can't write a coherent blog post. I'm going to stop trying. I'll try again when I'm not functioning under HAM circumstances.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
4 comments:
Oh Kali! What an exciting (and I'm sure terrifying) weekend coming up! It's gonna be so good for Dezi and your family to all be at home together. Be sure to take advantage of all your kind NY friends and keep breathing :)
See you in a couple weeks.
Lots of love. - h
Hi Kali...I'm here if you need me. You're doing a great job and I'm proud, in awe and inspired by you. My love to you, Shane, Maymay and Dezi.
xoxo,
Jacquelyn
i'll be sending love your way - and anything else you need. home alone with two kids can try and test you all by itself, and then you have the added intensity of Dezi's already incredible life story. my only advice is, don't forget to reach out to your loving friends - you have a lot of them and they are all clearly itching to help out.
Kali,
You are going to do great! I can see from the pictures you've posted that Mahalia is already an expert big-sister. I am excited for Dezi's big day and am hoping that it all goes smoothly.
I'm sending Dezi a little knitted item to keep him warm and happy. We are so thrilled to hear of Dezi's great progress and hope that things transition smoothly for the whole Ends-guirigan clan!
Post a Comment